Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day meets the 2 year mark.

In case you've been off of the internet all day or have no soul in not giving your mother the time of day on this day, today is Mother's Day.

But what you may have not known, is that this is also 2 years to the day that my mother tragically slipped away from us.

It goes without saying, today has been difficult, which is the understatement of the year. This blog post could be very dark, gloomy, and emo post on this day of days; but I'm keeping my head high. This as you can imagine is not an easy task in the face of everything that I've been through, but the passage of time can be kind. Facing the headstone of the woman who raised me, loved me and taught me everything I needed to know about love and life, is an earth shaker no matter how fresh the wound is. Today I thought more about how far I've come in the last two years, how I built my life back up from nothing and am able to walk tall. The crushing weight of the burden I was dealt was almost too much to handle and I thought I'd never recover. May 11th will always be a day of retrospective thought aside from the obvious reasons. I will look back at the person I was on May 10th and see a stranger. My life as changed 100 fold from anything that I had thought I would become.
Forever a Mama's boy.
I am so blessed to have my three wonderful siblings around me as much as I can. They give me strength when all I see is darkness. Watching them accomplish, work hard and fail gives me lots of ups and downs now-a-days but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love the fact that they can turn to me for any problem that may arise and we have such a good relationship, because we're all that we have left. Today marks Mother's Day and the biggest shock I've ever experienced. But I'm able to look around and see all of the wonderful things I have in my life, and the future doesn't seem so dark or bleak.

Everyday, I live out the lessons that my Mom taught me in the 19 years we got together. 
I commend her treating me as and adult enough to teach me the concept of unconditional love at such a young age.
I remember her laugh, her smile and everything that made her great. 
I still dream about her. 
I long for her loving embrace. 
I see her everyday when I look in the mirror and in the compassion of my siblings.
I wear my tattoo proudly, as a badge of courage and loving remembrance.
I display pictures of my childhood all over my house to have little windows into the past. 
I think about her everyday.
She means the world to me and today is her day, as my mother.
I love you mom, and I hope you understand how important you are to me.
Happy Mother's Day.